Buttman Versus Stupidman Review

So I'm in the theatre watching Buttman versus Stupidman and it's so bad my doctor calls me halfway through the film to tell me I've contracted so many terminal diseases because of how bad it is that they all ate each other and I'd be fine as long as I never go to see a piece of shit Zack Snyder movie ever again. The movie cruelly granted me the gift of disease then took it away, cursing me with a life I somehow have to go on living after having watched that fucking turd.

On my way out I bump into this fucking retard who I overhear saying at a normal speaking volume to his friends walking next to him "I thought that was alright". Jesus fucking Christ, is this guy serious? I know you think the story's over, but I'm just getting started. This fucking cunt went on to spout some really outlandish shit, such as "It had a few things going for it" and "I liked Batman", even going as far as to say "I found myself going with it".

I couldn't understand it -- here was a guy, this fucking putz, who didn't seem to give a single shit what the movie's score was on Rotten Tomatoes. The movie scores under thirty fucking percent and he literally just went to see it anyway. What kind of a society are we that allows the mentally disturbed to freely walk among us?

Just as you would expect, blood actually shot out from my forehead from a vessel blown out by the rational anger. I found myself lunging at him very suddenly with a startling lack of momentum, tackling him to the ground and just punching his face over and over until I couldn't feel my fist. I heard my wrist snap, but I didn't care -- all that mattered was his eternal silence.

I can't type anymore, I've been running in full sprint in the direction of Zack Snyder's Los Angeles home since I left the theatre. My lungs are on fire and I've just now overheard another guy actually saying the movie had "good ideas but the plot left no room to explore them". He obviously needs to be injured but it's gonna be nothing compared to what's gonna happen to Zach once I get to Los Angeles!